HONOLULU (KHON2) — Back in the olden days before dating websites and smart phone apps, people had to find navigate their own way through the dating landscape.

And with the explosion of digital tools to guide us to the supposedly right person, some people are rethinking the use of apps in their dating lives.

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This led KHON2.com to wonder how to navigate dating in our post-modern, technological age.

We discovered that there are some dating trends that are new while some are pretty not new. Others are typical but with jeuje’d up names. Let’s take a wee exploration…

The dating world has been a pretty strict venture for a few hundred years. European traditions were spread across the globe through colonization and mixed with other traditions to create


We are all familiar with ghosting. It’s when someone completely disappears from your life with no explanation, no resolution and no closure.

It’s not new to avoid a person you no longer want to date, but the term ghosting has created a whole new paradigm with which to deal with it and conceptualize it.


This is when someone has ghosted you; but at some point, they attempt to come back into your life with no explanation as to why they ghosted you in the first place.

The Slow Fade

Slow fading is when we slowly phase out someone from our lives. We don’t tell them we are doing this; we simply plan fewer and fewer dates or meetings until we are no longer in the relationship.


Scrooging is when you break up with them before a gift giving or relationship-oriented holiday, birthdays or anniversaries. While it is a frugal tactic, it is not always something that we can be forgiven for doing.


This is when someone hangs around newly minted singles in the hopes that they can convince them to date on the rebound. This is typically a tactic used by people who lack the confidence or charisma to go out and meet new people.


Kittenfishing is when you present yourself as a different person on a date in order to entice the person to date you. You change things about yourself such as what you like or do not like, your personality characteristics, etc….


This is when someone lacks the confidence to fully express their admiration for the person they are dating or trying to date. Rather than communicate their fondness, they will throw “breadcrumbs” as a source of control.

Oftentimes, this style of dating is used to keep someone at arm’s length unless something is needed from them or when someone has difficulty committing to a relationship. The “breadcrumbs” keeps the person being courted interested as they are compelled to pick up the crumbs that are thrown their way.


You-Turns are when a person goes full steam ahead into a relationship. It’s the opposite of breadcrumbing. However, in this situation, once the person has had certain sexual urges satisfied, they realize that jumping into the relationship was a bad idea, thus making a metaphorical U-turn.


This is when you get others to mediate a potential relationship. What happens is a person asks his/her/their friends to take control of their social media and/or dating app profiles. This usually happens when we think our friends are wittier or better at decision making than we are.

Cookie Jarring

Cookie jarring is when we maintain potential backup relationships in case the relationship we’re in doesn’t work out. Basically, it means we’re keeping backups available for when we need them, kind of like keeping cookies in a cookie jar.


This is when we are considerate when we break-up with someone. What does it say about the dating landscape that this would be considered a trend?


This has arisen as a trend to combat the increasing cost of goods and inflation rates. With folks finding it more difficult to makes ends meet, this trend has become popular and encourages us to be a little more creative and fun in developing low-cost, fun dates.


Wanderloving is when we date people who are not living in the same city as we are. According to the social networking app Bumble this has become more popular as people travel more.

Ethical Sexploration

With the rise of acceptance for people who are polysexual and polyamorous, more and more rules on how to ethically approach polysexuality are being formulated.

Basically, being open and honest about your sexual orientation is the best way to ethically approach exploring various sexual partners.


This the opposite of ethical sexploration. So, when you hide that you are polysexual or polyamorous from your date or relationship partner, it is considered roaching. The idea is that when the light is shown on your intimate life, people see lots of other people that they did not know were there.

Dry Dating

Dry dating is becoming more and more popular as fewer people amongst Generation Z want to consume alcohol. There are lots of new concept bars that offer non-alcoholic cocktails, and this is supporting the trend to be sober while dating.

Open Casting

This is when we decide not to maintain a “type” when looking for a date. Instead, folks take each person on their own terms to find out if a match is possible. This is a daring trend in dating as it forgoes patterns and familiarity. But it’s an adventurous trend as it allows us to explore options we may not have tried before.


Groudhogging is the opposite of open casting dating. This is when someone dates the same type of person over and over again expecting a different result. Einstein called this propensity, insanity.


Situationships occur when we decide to date someone simply because they are near or available. This should not be confused with demisexual in which a person needs to have some sort of longer-term relationship with a person before sex is pursued. Situationships are opportunistic in nature.


This is when someone pretends to care about issues about which the person they’re wanting to date cares. It’s a costume that someone wears to entice the other person into a relationship.


Accomo-dating is a trend in which those seeking dates want only people who own their own homes.


This is when a relationship progresses along quickly because the people dating are not interested in the usual pace of a slower get to know one another period.


Whiteclawing is when someone continues with a terrible date even though they do not want to be there.

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Well, there you have it. The dating trends that we’re encountering in 2023. Is there a trend that you prefer?