Straight Talk: Healthy Mother-Child Relationships

Straight Talk

Honolulu (KHON2) – The important bond and role of a mother on her child’s development is the focus of our latest Straight Talk segment with Hooko LLC.

“An often-understated role of mothers is that they are the backbones of the family,” explains Dr. Rhesa Kaulia, President/Co-Founder. “They literally hold the family together – remember appointments, keep the house running smoothly, make sure everyone has what they need, memorize information, communicate with others for the family.”

She adds, “One of the unique parts about being the backbone is the emotional space that a mother holds for the feelings of each member of the family.  Children often learn to relate to other people based on the dynamics they learn from their mothers.”

Vice-President/Co-Founder Edwina Reyes adds, “Many people consider their mothers to be their best friend. While there is certainly a time & place for this, this causes confusion in childhood.  A parent/mother are not meant to be on the same level as their children, because there is a power differential, meaning that a parent gets to decide what the child can or cannot do. If a child thinks a parent is a best friend, he/she may get confused about the role their mothers play and may treat a mother as if she is an equal, instead of with the respect and deference that should be afforded to a parent.”

As a child matures, the young adult often turns to his/her mother for advice. It’s important for a mother to hold space for the young person to make his/her own choices, even if that means making mistakes.  A healthy parent-child relationship allow this to happen, without helicopter parenting.  

A tip for this relationship? Have clearly defined roles and boundaries, especially when the child is younger, while holding emotional space for the child.  Don’t try to be their best friend when they are younger.  Be the parent, set the tone.   If you have questions about mother-child or parent-child relationships and would like to schedule an appointment, please contact 808-375-7712 or visit www.hookollc.com

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