We live in an age where people go to great lengths to be liked, and the peception is that if you are liked, that is a good thing.  We asked Rhesa and Edwina of Hooko LLC if it is.

‘Humans are social creatures & we tend to look to others to validate who we are, what we think, how we feel etc. But we have increasingly succumbed to the ‘tyranny of the shoulds,’ or the idea that one should be this way, talk this way, act this way, or keep up with the Joneses, with the primary goal of being liked.  Social media has distorted the importance of popularity and being liked.  While it may feel good to be liked, it is not necessary to be liked.  Consider that being liked, may be a failure of sorts. This is because it may come with the inability to be honest and confident in oneself, for fear of not being liked.  The truth is, more often than not, it is not only okay NOT to be liked, it may even be preferred. “

And we wanted to know some examples of being disliked.

“Consider the parent who doesn’t give in to all their child’s whims, and the child lashes out, “I hate you!”  Parents who have experienced this know that if their child is upset with their decisions, that means they are doing a good job. Consider the coach who is hard on his players but produces all-star athletes.  He must be doing something right.  Or consider the former colleague who starts spreading rumors about you, after your continued success becomes threatening to them.  On another note, it has been said that you can often judge a person not by their friends, but by the quality of their enemies.  In other words, who a person is disliked by, reveals the character of the disliked person more than it detracts from who they are, even though that is not usually the intention. “

If you need to talk with someone the Counseling Center has therapists who are trained to address topics like this.  If you have questions or would like to schedule an appointment, contact the office at 808-375-7712 or visit online at www.hookollc.com