Honolulu (KHON2) – Self care isn’t just a catch phrase, it’s important to prevent burnout for parents says Living808’s Mental Health Experts, Rhesa and Edwina of Ho’oko LLC Counseling Center.
“The whole point of self-care is to nurture oneself toward greater overall health, including physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health” says Ho’oko Co-Founder and President Rhesa Kaulia. “The reason this is so crucial for parents to embrace is that once we have children, we shift our focus, time, and energy onto our children, seeding into them, and then neglect ourselves. Self-preservation desists, and the problem with this is that many parents are overworked, underpaid, and downright exhausted and need something to revive themselves, but don’t take the time to do it because they feel guilty or say there is no time.”
Moms tend to need it the worst, according to statistics.
“Studies have shown us that moms tend to work on average, 98 hours per week, excluding coming home and then caring for the children,” explains Ho’oko Co-Founder and Vice President Edwina Reyes. “Mothers tend to get only 17 minutes of free time to themselves per day. We get lunch breaks at work that are longer than this!”
Signs you need self care? You find yourself getting easily frustrated, impatient, or upset. You feel like you want to “throw in the towel.” Your children and their requests annoy you. You begin to feel stressed every time you have to go home from work. You prefer to sleep your day away and don’t want to wake up and tend to the children. You feel depressed, anxious, and hopeless.
“Parents can make it a point to schedule in self-care,” adds Edwina. “This doesn’t have to be something that they spend money on. It could be listening to favorite music on the drive home or while taking a bath, uninterrupted time with a friend (going for a walk, a phone call, coffee, etc.), journaling, taking a nap, going to a church service or group, reading or exercising.”
Other paid ideas may include getting a massage, going to dinner with friends, getting a manicure or pedicure.
“The idea is to carve out time that is just for you, that focuses on nurturing yourself in one of the four areas of health: physical, emotional, mental or spiritual,” says Rhesa.
If you need help, it’s always helpful to talk to a therapist who is trained to help you evaluate your current situation, and who can create a plan of self-care with you.
Ho’oko Counseling Center provides services for these types of situations.
Counseling services are covered by most major health insurances.
If you have questions or would like to schedule an appointment, please contact 808-375-7712 or go online.